"9 fingers of mine are hitting on a keyboard one by one. Yes, nine fingers. Only nine fingers are required to type on a keyboard. I sometimes type faster, sometimes type slower, I am trying to turn the typing sound into a piece of music, because I am bored with computer programming, but I have to do it. I believe, it will give me a good fortune in the near future. Developing a good software to work for me is my target." I recalled this silly memory while sitting in front of my computer.
My goal was to develop a software to get tasks done automatically, not learning forever! Initially, I didn't resist to learn more when I was still a college student. It became tough after I graduated. Everyday, I need to work for 12 hours on average, but I rarely work for less than 10 hours. Plus, I have to learn something new after work.
Chasing new computer-programming knowledge is like a horse chasing a carrot. You can almost touch it, but you can't catch it. If you are lucky enough to catch the carrot, it would become dust and a new carrot appears in front of you. I have been chasing that carrot for 15-year, it makes me tired. Maybe, I have already used up all my passion.
Now, I have got another goal, that is escaping from this field. I hope I will achieve this goal one day. But! What can I do to make a living?